Go, go, go!

After months of lists, expectations and experiments with balance, I have decided that I am not as premeditated as all of that.  There is no use in being upset when I can't meet my demands if they are unrealistic.  The way I write and think and speak has always been propelled by emotion--perhaps too intense to reign immediately with logic (until, of course, that gentle tap on the shoulder known as hindsight).  So, while I'd like to be more methodical about the way I approach finishing a story... it's just not what I am naturally inclined to do.

This weekend I am devoting myself to a no-apologies approach of kneading my story to a near-finished draft.  I will focus on listening to my own voice, and take some time make lists and look at a calendar because it makes me feel more secure.  Then I will return to listening to my voice, kneading, shaping, and inhaling the sweet warmth of my storybread when I pop it in the oven.

By Thanksgiving weekend, I will have completed my first MFA application, finished a grant for youth alcohol prevention, gained 5 lbs and earned myself a viewing of Being Elmo.  That is who I am.  A 20-something professional who would rather be telling stories, a small but powerful voice with a larger and even more powerful support system of wonderful people, a big kid that loves eating and laughing and cuddling and Sesame Street.  And I am going to finish what I started.  I am going to be who I came here to be.

So, as my Tiger says, I'ma put some oil in it and Jiayou!