The Mostest

Since my arrival from Austin last week, I have felt abuzz with the mental frenzy of returning to reality (read: workbrain).  Any tension here has been due mostly to my own unwillingness to let go of my time away.  I really liked my life out there.  The amazing UT campus (turtle pond!), the aimless yet consistently fruitful adventuring, the motorcycle parade (well, not so much... but it was funny at least) and the promise of an existence comprised of not much more than writing (mostly this), reading (and a lot of this too), snuggling (well, of course lots of this too), eating at Mr. Natural (ohmaga... okay just imagine a emphatic parenthetical aside after each of these items...), riding bikes, wiggling to music, being outside a lot, getting slobbered on by cute dogs and swimming with the salamanders.  Dreamgasm!

Returning home is always relieving, but this time felt different.  Like the concept of leaving was finally, really there.  It was even in my body, that weightlessness of not knowing where I was.  Or rather, of not knowing where I belong because deep down I can feel a big change coming.  I'm slightly afraid that I am too liquid now to get myself to a solid place again, which is ultimately where I'd like to be (or where I think I should be).   But maybe this is exactly the thing to keep me going.  Maybe I was too much of a tree before and now I need to be more porous.  Something that is agile and mutable.

But back to writing.  Not sure how many words I squeezed in last weekend (and they were good ones!).  However, I have learned a few things:

• I still don't have the perfect writing soundtrack, and it is driving me crazy.  Slow and sexy seems to work best, but with less commercial interjection from Pandora and only when I'm alone so as to avoid getting all riled up.
• Though I usually joke about the research phase of writing as if it is an excuse, a way of avoiding the actual writing process... I need to do some research for this piece (and maybe all of them if only to feel more secure about what I'm spitting out)!  And I am excited about it!  First key topic: Taino folktales.
• Sometimes being with people you love, experiencing the outside world like you're an alien, observing the way a voice pulses through a neck, noting the inflection of a person's speech as they light up with excitement, petting a dog into submission and eating the last pancake is just more important.  And the rest of the time, it's just as important.  Finding a way to make everything possible is the key.  But with the support of wonderful people, it's really not that hard.

In short, life's pretty good.  And now,  it's time to get back to work.